Wednesday 24 November 2010

The Top 10 Secrets of The Secret Bread Empire!

I included the following at the end of my presentation for the 20th Anniversary of Night of the Living Bread at Shock Around The Clock, the 24-hour horror film marathon in Columbus, Ohio.  Since my blog entry for that event was pretty long, I decided to break this into its own entry.

10. At one point, I wanted to make a Japanese-monster-style Bread Movie.  It was going to be called Destroy All Food Groups and would feature a quasi-sexual encounter between the Bread and Meat food group monsters.  I eventually scrapped the idea because I couldn't figure out an inexpensive way to make the costumes and sets.

9. The Secret Bread Empire used to be The Evil Bread Empire, but it was changed by love.

8. Zombies have been a part of my life for a long time - at least since I saw Night of the Living Dead and Dawn of the Dead in 1977 and 1978.  I was fortunate enough to be a zombie extra in George A. Romero's Day of the Dead.

7. I also appear - in illustrated form - as a zombie in issue #53 of the comic, The Walking Dead.  Look for the zombie wearing the "I'd Rather Be Playing Cosmic Encounter" t-shirt.

6. THERE IS NO SECRET #6!

5. Night of the Living Bread was sold to Polish television, where it was over-dubbed in Polish.

4. There's a hardcore metal band from New Zealand called Human that has a song titled "Night of the Living Bread", though it has no relation to my film.  Check out the cool video on Google Videos or the lesser one on YouTube.

3. When we premiered Night of the Living Bread to the world, we created a variety of promotional items to give to members of the audience.  One of these was a set of Night of the Living Bread trading cards, containing scenes, with descriptions, from the film.  Imagine what a complete set would go for on eBay today!

2. To date, no Bread film has ever been shown shown upside-down and/or backwards at a film marathon event.  (Which is a good thing, since despite becoming a tradition to show one or more films - usually trailers - in that manner, it's generally reserved for films held in low esteem by the audience!)  [OK, this was kind of a weak entry.  But I was struggling to come up with 10 items in a short period of time....]

1. Meat is not Murder.  Bread is Murder.

Sunday 21 November 2010

Ann is pregnant with another man's child!

Actually, she's pregnant with another woman's child, too.

This is just my dramatic way of announcing that Ann and I are "expecting".  She was 21 weeks along last week and everything has been going swimmingly.  The doctors have given us a very high percentage chance of a successful birth.  The due date is April 1 (no, really!).

We have been trying to conceive for a number of years.  Although the trying has been quite fun, we have not had any success.  Ann has been participating on an internet forum for older women who want to have children.  One of her friends on the forum arranged to obtain donor eggs, created embryos via IVF, and then successfully delivered three boys (first a singleton and then twins).  Earlier this year, the friend and her husband decided they had all the children they wanted, so they offered the remaining three embryos to an interested party.  Ann and I stuck our hand up, were selected, and gratefully received the embryos.

In July, we travelled to the USA (where the embryos were) and arranged to have one transferred to Ann.  The first embryo the clinic thawed was determined to be insufficiently viable and had to be discarded.  But the second one was a success and has just kept going.  The third one is still frozen, waiting for us to decide at some future point what use we will make of it.

So, effectively, we are adopting a child at a very, very young age.  And that's how Ann came to be pregnant with another man's (and woman's) child.

I like to think of it as a "cuckoo", since that bird tends to put its eggs in another bird's nest so that it will be raised by the other bird - lazy, efficient parenting!  (There's also a nasty bit where the baby cuckoo kills its siblings so that it will obtain a greater share of the parental care, but let's ignore that part for my use of the metaphor.)  Ah, but the joke is on the cuckoo this time, since it really just fell into the trap we laid for it!

(If you would like some geek references to cuckoos, read John Wyndham's The Midwich Cuckoos or see the film based on it, Village of the Damned; and/or, read Neil Gaiman's graphic novel The Sandman: A Game of You.)

I'm amazed at the technology of all this.  A man and a woman never meet, but conceive a child.  That child is carried to term and then raised by yet another woman (and another man).  Incredible, miraculous, and commonplace.  Neat stuff.

Twenty weeks is an important milestone in a pregnancy.  It's around the halfway point (slightly more, in many cases) and the baby moves to a more "real"/viable stage.  (A major problem before 20 weeks is called a spontaneous abortion, or miscarriage, whereas after that time it becomes a pre-term delivery and every day increases the chances of the baby surviving outside of the womb.)

It's also around this time that a morphology ultrasound is done, which checks for signs of genetic or developmental problems.  In ours, everything looked great.  It was amazing to see our child looking just like a little person!

The morphology ultrasound also revealed the gender and...it's a boy!  We had generally used the pronoun "he" when making a reference, but we were not set on either gender and were going to be thrilled with either.

As for a name, Ann and I refer to this as Project Zuperfliegen, since for a number of years we have joked about naming our child-to-be Zuperfliegen Baadasssss O'Brien.  The name comes from my fondness for "blaxploitation" films  - and their funky soundtracks - of the 1970s (like Shaft and Sweet Sweetback's Baadasssss Song), as well a playful attitude toward the German language ("Zuperfliegen" is not-really-German for "Super Fly", which is another classic blaxploitation film).  I thought there was still some question as to whether Ann was going to actually let me put that on the birth certificate; but she has recently let me know that such a thing is NOT going to happen...  But, c'mon!  Who doesn't want to be a Badass (or Baadasssss)?!

So his name is actually going to be James Steven O'Brien.  "James" has been the first name of the first son of the first son for at least three generations in my family.  However, my brother - James, of course - has two girls.  So I've decided to carry on the tradition, even though I'm actually the second son of my biological father.  And there have been a LOT of "Steves" in my life - and they all get a little credit - but we're mostly honouring my long-time close friend, Steven Brey.

I think I'm still going to call him Zuperfliegen, though.

One final note:  As Ann and I are both citizens of Australia and the United States, our child will also have dual citizenship (and without all the time, effort and money we had to put into it).  I guess that means that he can grow up to be President (although perhaps not without controversy).

Ten years later, the goal is reached!

I received my Australian passport about two months ago.  Ann received hers shortly thereafter.  I see these events as the truly final steps for my goal of us becoming Australian citizens!  In fact, I travelled as an Australian for the first time last month, when I went to the USA to attend Shock Around The Clock, the 24-hour horror film marathon in Columbus, Ohio.

Both countries insist on using their passport when you enter or leave their country.  I thought that meant I should show my Australian passport to the airline when I left Australia and then show my USA passport when I entered the USA.  However, I discovered that the information taken by the airlines is sent to the US immigration officials and they get upset when you show them a different passport.  After implicitly threatening to detain me for the few hours (!) it would take to verify my citizenship (despite having my actual USA passport in their hands), they eventually just entered my information in the computer and I was on my way.  Lesson learned:  Show the airlines the passport of the country I'm going to, and show the immigration officials (incoming and outgoing) the passport of whatever country I'm actually in at the time.  Things should go more smoothly in the future (as they did for my return flight to Australia in October).

Here's a brief history of my 10-year path to Australian citizenship:

I had wanted to visit Australia since my youth.  I think I've just always been fascinated by new and different things and Australia was so far away and had so many unusual animals.  In a way, I was like James Garner's character in Support Your Local Sheriff.

I finally went in 1999, when I was 36 years old.  At that time, I was attending the World Science Fiction Convention pretty much every year.  It's an annual convention, held in a different city each year.  In 1999, it was in Melbourne (in Victoria, Australia).  I used that as my excuse for a month-long holiday that would allow me to travel around and see a bit of the country (as well as attend the convention).

I fell in love with Australia.  Cool stuff to see and do, and a laid-back style to living.  And the culture is different enough to satisfy the desire for the experience of living in a foreign country, but similar enough to the USA to make it easy to get around and get things done.  The fact that the official language is English helps a lot for people like me who seem to have limited abilities to learn additional languages.  And since my political leanings are to the left, the socialist aspects of Australia are pretty nice, too - Medicare for everyone, for example (ahem).

At the time, I was working at a New Horizons Computer Learning Center franchise in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania.  A New Horizons franchise had recently opened in Sydney.  So, when I was visiting that great city, I made a point of stopping in, checking the place out, and ultimately saying "Are you interested in hiring a technical instructor?"  They said, "Yes, probably."  That all worked out and made it really easy to obtain a visa that would allow me to live and work in Australia.  Those years were some great times!

However, I had reconnected with Ann just as my Australian visa was approved.  We knew we wanted to spend the rest of our lives together, but she had to spend some time wrapping up her life in North Carolina and I was off to Sydney.  We maintained our relationship long-distance and worked to eventually apply to get Ann added to my visa as my de facto spouse (Australia's equivalent of a common-law marriage).  It took us well over a year to get to the point of submitting the application.  I thought we made a pretty good case, but the Australian Government rejected our request.

Eventually, we decided it would be easier for me to return to the USA, which I did in late 2002, after we took a 102-day car trip literally all over Australia (although Ann was only able to do the first 60-some days before flying back to America).  But I always planned to return to Australia at some point.

That opportunity came in 2005, when Ann was laid off from the veterinary practice she was working for and it turned out that to get another suitable job for her, we would have to move.  Well, as long as we were moving, I thought I should look into the possibility of moving back to Australia.  So I called New Horizons and once again asked if they were looking to hire a technical instructor.  The answer was "yes", of course, but this time the job was in Brisbane.

When I was originally living in Sydney under my extended working visa, I wanted to obtain permanent residency status and then, ultimately, Australian citizenship (dual citizenship, since I never intend to surrender my American citizenship).  I wanted to do this mainly because I thought it was "cool" - new, interesting, unusual; a "man of two countries" sort of thing.  But I also recognised that it would be practical, in that it would give me (and now, Ann, too) total freedom to live and work (or not work) in both countries as I (we) saw fit.

However, when I was in Sydney, it seemed that my best option would be to apply as an individual for skills-based migration. But that involved an extensive application process (and those who know me recognise that so much writing, etc. can take me months/years to get around to getting done!), being able to score at least 100 points on Australia's scale (with points given for speaking English, having skills or a profession Australia needs, being young, etc.), and having my computer skills verified by the Australian Computer Society.  That last item was because I did not have an university degree in Computer Science and it was going to entail another detailed application process that was also expensive and ambiguous with regards to the likely outcome.  So, in typical slacker style, I never got the application(s) submitted.

When I moved to Brisbane in late 2005, however, I was much more motivated to actually get it done.  BUT, my increased age meant that I was losing points on the immigration scale (and thus would probably not be eligible for independent skill-based migration) and things were still uncertain with the Australian Computer Society's verification process.  So things remained on hold and in limbo for months and months, as per my usual process of getting things done.

And then things turned around.  I discovered that my employer would be willing to sponsor me for permanent residency status - meaning I didn't have to score 100 points anymore - and that once I worked for them for two years, I would no longer have to go through the skills verification process.  (The idea is that if they are sponsoring you for the job you're already doing, you've clearly shown that you have the skills required to do that job.)  That just left the big hurdle of the motivation/discipline to get the application completed and all the supporting documentation together.  I resolved that issue by hiring immigration lawyers to handle the process for me.  There was still a lot I had to do, but it's amazing how motivated I get when I'm paying a lot of money to have something done!

That was all in the first half of 2008.  Like I said, it takes me a while to get to big projects... (sigh)  We got the application submitted in late June or early July and were approved within a week!  The application was for me, with Ann as my spouse.  Since she would be getting the permanent residency, too, we had to submit information about her in the application, also.  We finally surmounted the hurdle of obtaining permanent residency!

That was the hard bit.  After that, it was just a matter of continuing to live in Australia.  To apply for citizenship, you need to have lived in Australia for four of the past five years, and you need to have been a permanent resident for at least a year.  That meant I would be eligible in October 2009 and Ann, who arrived in Australia later than me, would be eligible in March 2010.

Then each of us had to pass the citizenship exam - super easy, though I'm embarrassed to say I missed one of the 20 questions (Ann got 100%) - submit the simple application and fee, and then wait for approval.  Once we got that, we still had to wait for the opportunity to attend a citizenship pledge ceremony, which are held every 1-3 months.  That finally happened in July 2010 and we were both officially citizens of Australia (and thus dual citizens with the USA)!

Like I said at the beginning, getting our passports was really the final step, as they are the tools that allow us to leave and re-enter Australians as citizens.

After ten years, it's nice to have (another) home country!

I was a Guest of Hono(u)r!

On Wednesday, 20 October, 2010, I caught a plane for the USA so that I would be able to attend Shock Around The Clock, an annual 24-hour horror film marathon in Columbus, Ohio, that was happening that weekend (23-24 October).  The organisers of the event - all of whom I consider to be friends - graciously invited me to attend as a Guest of Honor (Honour, for Australians!) to celebrate the 20th Anniversary of my short film, Night of the Living Bread.  They even paid to fly me there!

About Night of the Living Bread:

When I was attending the Master of Fine Arts (MFA) program of the School of Film at Ohio University, my first year (1989-1990) film project was a short parody of George A. Romero's Night of the Living Dead (1968).  Instead of zombies rising to attack the living, it was slices of bread.  (Years ago, I was telling a couple of co-workers about the film.  One of them turned to the other and said, "You know, a stupid movie!"  And I thought, "OK, fair enough...")

At the time, I was attending annual 24-hour film marathons that were being held in Columbus, Ohio.  They would have a science fiction event in April and a horror event in October.  I wanted to have the world premiere of Night of the Living Bread (NotLB) at the horror marathon in October 1990 and the organisers agreed to show it.  The cast and I did what we could to make it an event - making NotLB "Action Figures" (a slice of bread in a plastic baggie with a card telling you which figure you had - Frenchie, Whitey, Heel #2, etc.), Bread Badges, NotLB Trading Cards, etc.  And the crowd  seemed to really like the film!

That motivated me to explore other markets for the film and it ended up doing pretty well.  It won the Audience Vote at the Hamburg (Germany) No Budget Short Film Festival (which came with around $1,500 prize money), as well as getting accepted at a bunch of other festivals and even getting invited to a few.  Columbia Pictures picked up the film for television syndication sales in North America.  They packaged it with the 1990 remake of Night of the Living Dead and when it was shown, I called a bunch of the markets to get their ratings information.  Based on that, I estimated that approximately one million households watched my film.  The film was also included on the deluxe laserdisc package for the original (1968) Night of the Living Dead, and then later on similar packages on video and DVD.  And, when George A. Romero finally watched it, he personally called me and said he thought it was "a hoot"!

But it was the film marathon events where "Bread" was really at home.  While in film school, I made two more Bread Films - Loaf and Another Bread Film, or: A Shameless Marketing Ploy.  Both had their premieres at the film marathons.  Loaf was science fiction and Another Bread Film fit right in at a new event for schlock/exploitation films.  Eventually, my films became a staple at each of the marathons.  That waxed and waned over the years; but just when you thought The Secret Bread Empire was dead, the films would be shown again and would get new fans.  I even made another film, Sandwich, in 2007.

So it seemed appropriate to go where it kind of all began to celebrate the 20th anniversary.

About the event:

It was great!

Due to the essential and irreplaceable efforts of Dave Zecchini, we were able to create the Deluxe  Edition DVD which contains all four Bread Films, as well as a bunch of extras, including recently-recorded commentaries by me on all the films, and even an Easter egg or two.  I gave a copy of this DVD to everyone who attended the marathon.

And, due to the kindness of Matthew Johnson, proprietor of Seventh.Ink - http://www.furyshirts.com/ - all the attendees also got a "Night of the Living Bread" badge.  Matthew came up with the a T-shirt (and badge) design for "Night of the Living Bread" without being aware of my film.  When I found his online shop, I ordered a bunch of the shirts for myself and the cast of the film.  When I told Matthew about my film and the 20th anniversary event, he offered to supply me with a bunch of the badges for a greatly reduced price.

On Thursday (the day after I arrived in Columbus), I spent the day preparing new "Action Figures" to distribute in the "swag bags" for the attendees, too.

Friday was spent preparing large Bread Empire banners to flank the auditorium.  Think Nuremberg 1934 (but without all the nasty stuff that came later).  My thanks to Steve Herminghausen for all of his help at the last minute (the last several hours, actually)!

And then Saturday and Sunday was the event - 12 noon to 12 noon!  I had arranged for much of the original cast to be there: Robert and Gina Saunders, Stephen R. Newell, and Steve Herminghausen.  Unfortunately missing were Vince Ware (I don't know where he is these days - Where's Ware?; if you know, please tell me!), Katie Hughes (formerly Katie Harris; she's living in Japan), and Michael Saunders (he was supposed to be there, but was a no-show).

When it came time for the Bread Films, I did a little introduction.  The films were shown, followed by a surprise collage of Bread Moments from marathons of the past.  Then the cast and I went to the front and talked about the incredible experience of people actually caring about our film 20 years later, as well as answering a variety of questions the audience had.

Afterwards, we all went out to the lobby, in case anyone wanted their DVDs autographed (since someone had approached us earlier).  Amazingly, there ended up being a line!  It was great fun chatting with fellow marathon attendees who liked the films.

All in all, it was a lot of fun and I felt it was a wonderful way to celebrate 20 years of The Secret Bread Empire!

Here's a list of the films that were shown and my quickie thoughts on them:

Frankenstein (1910) - Interesting as a cinematic artifact, dull as a movie, and appropriately short.

Frankenstein (1931, James Whale) - Good, classic Universal horror fun.

13 Ghosts (1960, William Castle) - I sacrificed this so that I could get some sleep (I started the Marathon in a deprived state) and be more awake for other films.  I've seen it before and my memory was that it was gimmicky fun, but not that great of a film.

Psycho (1960, Alfred Hitchcock) - Still an amazing classic!

Dressed To Kill (1980, Brian De Palma) - I was looking forward to this, as I had not previously seen it.  Wow, I knew De Palma was known to be heavily influenced by Hitchcock, but I had no idea this was virtually a remake of Psycho.  Well, if Psycho were remade as softcore porn with 1980s sensibilities.  As one of my friends said, "De Palma's films are interesting, but I always feel like I should take a shower after watching them."

Island of Lost Souls (1932, Eric C. Kenton) - I missed the first half or more of this, as I and the "Bread" cast were in the lobby, signing autographs and chatting with people.  What I saw when I came back was very cool, though, with a wonderful performance by Charles Laughton as Dr. Moreau.  And the film print was beautiful!

Martyrs (2008, Pascal Laugier) - Torture porn, but with a point.  I leave it to the individual viewer to decide if the point justifies the torture porn.  (I'm certainly not opposed to violence or gore in films - and I've frequently sought it out - but if it's not presented with some level of wit, I just find it dull.)

House (1977, Nobuhiko Obayashi) - A Japanese take on the haunted house trope with the typical Japanese wackiness that comes across as psychedelically surreal live-action anime.  Some people found this to be amazing, but the repetitiveness and lack of cohesion just lulled me off to sleep.  (As many know, I'm all about story, story, story!)

They Came From Within (aka Shivers, 1975, David Cronenberg) - Cronenberg's sex zombie apocalypse is still a delight!

Robogeisha (2009, Noboru Iguchi) - I was rather interested in this, but the usual Japanese silliness and lack of narrative cohesion took me out (again).  Wow, these films are tough for me at a Marathon!

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 (1986, Tobe Hooper) - Sacrificed for sleep to make sure that I would be awake for the final film.  I did wake up for the last 20-30 minutes and just found it to be a shrill, ambling mess.  Ugh.

Prince of Darkness (1987, John Carpenter) - I had not previously seen this, so I was interested.  I find John Carpenter to be an intriguing director who occasionally hits a home run (Dark Star, The Thing, possibly In The Mouth of Madness) but is frequently muddled and overly fond of ambiguous endings.  This film is more the latter than the former, and it's kind of a mish-mash of some of his earlier films (Assault on Precinct 13, The Fog, and The Thing).

All in all, it was fun to be exposed to new (to me) films and see some classics again, all in the company of like-minded enthusiasts!

And, finally, if you want some more information, here are some links to check out:

Newspaper Article - The Other Paper (Columbus, Ohio)

Newspaper Article - Delaware (Ohio) News

Attendee Report - Aaron Einhorn

Attendee Report - Joe Neff (cinematically erudite co-host of the Marathon)

Attendee Reports - From The Marathon's Forum

Always Crashing In A Different Car

Ann and I have a "flash new car"!  Well, it's new to us; as it's a 1994 (Toyota Corolla Liftback), I can't really say it's totally new.  Still, we're pretty happy with it.

Unfortunately, we have this new car because I crashed and totalled our old car, the 1991 Honda Civic.  A little over five weeks ago, I was driving myself and our friends, Andrew and Anna, to the weekly Critical Mass gaming group event.  It was dark and lightly raining and the streets were wet.  There was a car in front of me and a taxi in front of that car.  Apparently, the taxi did a sudden slow-down, stop and/or swerve.  The car in front of me put on its brakes and I did the same - and then slid on the wet bitumen (asphalt, to Americans), crashing into the car in front of me.  That car then hit the taxi in front of it.  When I got out of the car, I noticed that the front was all crumpled inward, the taxi had a big dent in its rear, and it looked like the car in front of me had scratches(!).

The good news is that I'm allowed to complain about the loss of our car without breaking etiquette.  That is, no one was harmed - always the most important thing!

The bad news is that our car was totalled - inoperable, smashed up, and costing more to repair than the value of the car.

And our insurance did not cover damage to our vehicle.  It seemed like a good idea to not pay for that coverage when I bought the insurance; but I concede that this is one of those situations where my choice ended up being not the optimum one.  Fortunately, our insurance did cover the damage to the other vehicle(s) - after I paid the $900 excess, of course.

I also discovered that the Royal Automobile Club of Queensland (RACQ; it's like AAA in America) does not provide towing service in the case of accidents; only in the case of breakdowns.  "Wow, really?  But you're the towing people..."  That led to the further discovery that it costs almost $300 to get your car towed in Brisbane.  (sigh)

So, anyway, four weeks and $6,000 later, Ann and I and have a "flash new car"!

And it's insured for the amount we paid for it.  (Minus a $1,150 excess, of course.  The cost of having had an accident where I was determined to be at fault...)